Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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