i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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