On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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