Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
