Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
