I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I showed him my bush... on skype.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
