Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
