wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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