Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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