you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
