Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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