My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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