He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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