i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
