Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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