is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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