his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
