Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
