I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
