How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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