I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize