Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
