i think i have two assholes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
