She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize