Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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