just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
