So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
