I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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