the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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