I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
