There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
