If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
