Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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