She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
