If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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