So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
