She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
