Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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