one word: firstdatebathroomanal
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
