Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We left the knife in your bed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
