Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
