Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
