i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
