I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
