i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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