My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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