shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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