I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
