But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
