Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
is it fun? or sober?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
