Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
