I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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