well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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