You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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