Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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