How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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