And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
